By Nzeribe Okechukwu

“He does not understand me; he is insensitive to my needs,” and“Does she think I'm a mind reader? We are two completely different persons”. How often have we heard these kinds of comments every time efforts to resolve misunderstandings arise in relationships? Faulty communication, especially between the sexes, has always given rise to wrong assumptions which further causes strains between both parties. Men and women just do not seem to understand each other and this has constantly frustrated each party.

The problem in relationships today is communication or more importantly, lack of vulnerable communication which is simply our ability to be emotionally naked or exposed. Despite the length of our relationships, we find ourselves unable to let our guard down completely and this stems from our perception of whether we might find acceptability from our partner. The moment we have to put forth any form of pretentiousness we lose the opportunity to be ourselves, see the true beauty of our partner and in turn, continue to deprive ourselves of having our emotional needs met.

To appreciate vulnerable communication, each partner must approach it with the understanding that both sexes are wired entirely different. Our perception of life is different; we are wired to think and act differently; our tools of communication are completely different, and as the author, Dr. John Gray would put it, “We are from completely different planets. Once we can appreciate this difference we can then take steps to see from the other party's perspective rather than ours.”

The beauty of a couple being vulnerable with each other is that their attention is taken away from their selfish self and focused on their partner who is offering them the opportunity to see them in all their uniqueness, weakness, beauty and strength. In turn, they find permission to express their vulnerability knowing that they are no different from their partner. Our constant need for emotional satisfaction is at the center of why so many relationships struggle in this age and time. But emotional needs can only be met when the other party is aware of the existing need.

To achieve this awareness, it is important to let our guards down, be vulnerable, be accepting of our partner's openness, be less judgmental of their past and their mistakes and be openly vulnerable as well. In time our relationships will experience less friction and become more harmonious.