The grief of losing a loved one is not a phenomenon to be ignored, especially in a time like this. The narrative of COVID-19 is mostly told from a birds-eye view, making use of bewildering statistics, capitalist policies and quarantine’s impact on the economy. But what about the family and friends of those who have perished? A large population of the world is mourning right now, and we find it worthwhile to honor the memories of loved ones lost to COVID-19, to signal healing communities near and far.

Melissa Holmes, a New York City resident, is the CEO and Founder of a nonprofit organization calledLove Shouldn't Hurt NY, Inc. Her organization caters to victims and survivors of domestic violence, and educates communities about domestic violence through events.

COVID-19 has claimed the life of her close friend, Tim Jones. Ms. Holmes shares her memories of him with FunTimes. She recounts his kindness.

(Left to right: Tim, Melissa and Tyrone)

 “Tim Jones was a childhood friend who saved my life in 2011 from an abusive relationship in Baltimore MD. Tim is the reason I started my organization; he gave me my life back. I called him late one night and told him I was in trouble, and needed help getting my son and I back to New York. He dropped everything, reached out to my first love Tyrone, and they both came and got me. They rented a truck, loaded it, and drove us back to NYC to my family.”

“They kept in touch, and one day, Tim expressed that he wasn’t feeling so well. What seemed to be a common flu morphed into an insidious infection, the novel coronavirus.

“When Tyrone and I spoke to Tim in March, he said he was laying down because he felt like he was coming down with the flu. He explained he wanted to rest over the weekend, and he was probably drained from working so hard. We told him to rest and that we would check on him later. This was right before the quarantine order.

By the time we called him the next day, he sounded very weak. We suggested he go to the hospital, but he said he didn't have a cough and was running a fever, so they probably wouldn't see him. He said he would continue to rest, and if it got worse, he would go to the hospital. The next thing we knew, on March 28th, we received a call from Tim's sister saying he was in the hospital, being put on a ventilator. Immediately my heart dropped and I started praying. Everyday his sister would call with an update, and there was no change in activity.

By April 4th, it had been a whole week with no progress, and I started to feel like something wasn't right. On April 5th, the phone rang at 7:30am and I just knew in the pit of my stomach. I immediately started crying and Tyrone answered the phone. I heard Ty say ‘OMG.’ I broke down because my fear was now a reality. Tim Jones, better known as my bonus husband, had died.

I felt helpless. He was alone. We couldn't visit. I couldn't whisper some of the same encouraging words he had given to me when I was being abused. He died alone. I couldn't even tell him how much I loved him. He saved my life and there was absolutely nothing I could do to save his. I was and still am crushed. My heart is shattered because I will never get a proper goodbye or farewell. It hurts. The grief is so overwhelming. There are days and nights I cry and feel confused and angry. This wasn't supposed to happen, NOT to Tim or anyone else.”

After this traumatic experience, because of the ongoing pandemic, Tim’s family and friends could not carry out appropriate funeral send offs.

“Tim was laid to rest on April 21st 2020, and I could not say a proper farewell to the man who thought my life was worth saving.

A fond memory I will always hold close to my heart is how Tim gave me my freedom and my life back. He rescued me after I had been beaten all night, dragged, and threatened to have me and my son killed. Most people wouldn't have gotten involved, but Tim didn't second guess if he should get involved. He loved me just as much as I loved him.”

Apart from losing a loved one to this virus, the pandemic also limits her ability to help others in need, like Tim helped her.

“Since the pandemic it's been very difficult, not being active in the community to educate about domestic violence. I am very active with victims and survivors that need placement or resources. Not being able to be or check on my mother or just getting out to enjoy the weather and be with friends has also been tasking.”

“He was truly one of a kind. He will truly be missed, but never forgotten, as I will be starting a foundation under my organization in Tim's honor. I LOVE & MISS YOU! To Tim's family, you have my deepest condolences as I mourn this great loss with you! Just know you are not alone, and that Tyrone and I are with you!”

Mrs. Holmes has special advice for the general public regarding COVID-19.

“Please stay home! It saddens me at how selfish people are being. This is just not about them. Other people's lives are changing in a worse way. So many lives have been lost; that really didn't have to happen.”

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence during this quarantine, contactLove Shouldn’t Hurt NY, Inc.at 646-470-9701 or email [email protected] resources. Additionally, you can call the hotline number at 800-799-SAFE.

we would like to hear your story about the impact of COVID-19 on you or someone you know. Contact us at wwwfuntimesmagazine.com

This story is made possible by collaboration with Resolve Philly.