In high school, I used to be fascinated with Valentine’s Day. I loved seeing the red and white cards and other gift items in shops. I would find every opportunity to be out in the evening just to see couples dressed in red and white. It looked like so much fun and I couldn’t wait to be an adult to be part of the fun. Life, however, had other plans. It must have been having a good laugh at my teenage thoughts as I never got to be part of this fun. As I grew older, I always somehow managed to be single on Valentine’s Day. With every single year of being "booless" on February 14, I became indifferent. I don't hate Valentine's Day, it's just one of those days that has been so commercialized that people have forgotten the real reason behind it - love.

As the calendar inches closer to February 14, some hearts around the world are beginning to beat a little faster and singles are already having FOMO (fear of missing out). Just a month ago, in December, they had to deal with couples in matching Christmas-themed pajamas flooding social media with lovey-dovey photos. While they are still healing, here comes the love month. We all know what February can be like; being bombarded with red roses, cards that read “I love you”, money bouquets, and the like. Everywhere you turn, you’re being reminded of how single you are, it’s like adding more salt to injury.

If you’re single and searching for love, Valentine’s Day can be annoying. It is one of those days when we are caught in a web of conflicting emotions, and if you do not manage your feelings well, you may end up sad, lonely, and depressed. Sometimes, we may act like it’s nothing, but deep down there is the unsettling ache and desire to have someone to share the day with.

How To Approach Valentine’s Day As A Single

 “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”

Approaching Valentine's Day as a single individual can be a delightful opportunity for self-love and reflection. You’re without a partner this year does not mean you’ll be without one in the coming year.

The cast of "Living Single", an American television sitcom taught us a thing or two about navigating relationships and even Valentine's Day as singles. Here are a few ways you can approach the much-talked-about February 14 solo without feeling like you’re missing out.

Embrace the joy of self-love: Do you know you can be in a relationship and still feel single? Years back, I was in a relationship for the first time during the Valentine’s Day celebration. I was already dreaming about how the day would go and how I would be pampered and showered with gifts. I walked into a shop and got gifts for him the day before. Unfortunately, it was another lonely Valentine as he was unavailable. No gifts, no pampering, no nothing. This experience taught me not to depend on anyone for my happiness. Do I want a man? Yes. But I do not need one to make me happy. I love myself too much to allow my happiness to rest in my relationship status. As a single, you have to learn to love and celebrate yourself. If no one pampers you, pamper yourself. Sitting and waiting for someone to do for you that which you can do for yourself will only rob you of your peace and happiness in the present.

Photo by Sora Shimazaki

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It's just a day: Just like every other day, the whole noise will be over in 24 hours. Do not let the advertising overload and the Instagram feeds of friends and celebrities get to you. Some are not even real. Remember, social media is not real life.

Don’t be pressured: If you are feeling pressured to have someone to share February 14 with, you are not alone. Even couples are facing pressure to buy expensive gifts to impress their partners and people on social media who do not even care. Do not allow yourself to be pressured over anything. Being single is not a disease.

It does not have to be a partnered celebration: Enjoy yourself without feeling weighed down by the idea that you need a partner to do so. Remember that you’re not less of a person because you’re not going out on a romantic date for two, or getting flowers, cards, and chocolates. You can celebrate solo.

It’s all about love: Valentine’s Day is about love and doesn’t have to be romantic. Don’t shortchange yourself because you’re single. You have lots of other love in your life to celebrate: the love of family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, and many others.

Enjoy the moment: Don’t drown yourself in sadness wishing for what is not. You are single and that’s your reality for now. Make the most of it, as you will not be single forever. Don’t waste time and energy wishing things were different. Being in a relationship may not even make you happy at the end of the day.

Photo by Samson Katt

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Take a break from social media: If you cannot handle the pretentious gifts and over-the-top celebrations online, it’s best to go offline to focus on your happiness. Tune out the noise, don’t let the social media posts destroy your inner peace.

Remove hatred from your heart: When you’re emotional, it is easy to hate those who have what you do not. You see couples being happy and you’re angry, or someone gets a gift and you’re jealous. Years back, on one of those Valentine’s Day celebrations, my friends and I and a colleague were in the office when a package was delivered. It was a mouthwatering breakfast tray and other gifts for my friend. Not long after, this colleague who had been “gisting” with us just became moody and shut us out, just because someone got a Valentine’s Day gift and she did not. Her day was ruined for no reason. Don’t be that person who cannot be happy for others.

For those who are unattached and not exactly happy about Valentine’s Day, you can rewrite the script and do something different this year. Take a cue from the characters on “Living Single” and embrace the joy of your own company. Here are some things you can do to make yourself feel better.

Netflix on the couch: Fill a bowl with popcorn while enjoying some alone time watching your favorite movies. No one is dragging the remote with you and distracting you. You have the TV all to yourself. You could also use the day to sleep in and enjoy time at home.

Buy yourself a gift: Why wait for someone to do it for you? Rather than just watch everyone get flowers and gush over their gifts, treat yourself to that beautiful bag or shoes you’ve always wanted; order a bouquet of sweet-smelling roses or something special. Just get yourself something that would light up your mood.

Hangout with friends: There is nothing more fun than being in the company of your friends. They remind us that while love is sweet, friendship is sometimes better. It could be a dinner, spa date, or movie night.

Photo bycottonbro studio from Pexels

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Dress for the occasion: Whether you’re going out on a solo date or staying in, find a cute outfit that fits the Valentine’s Day mood. It could be a sexy red dress, a cute pajama set, or whatever would lift your mood.

Do something you love: Spend the day doing something that gives you joy. If you love cooking, Valentine's Day is the perfect opportunity to grab those ingredients and try out that new recipe.

Enjoy a Little self-care: A little self-care goes a long way. Have you been looking forward to getting a massage, a new haircut, or a manicure and pedicure? Go ahead and spoil yourself. Make it a day of self-care activities that will leave you feeling refreshed. Some good pampering will lift your mood.

Dance party for one: Do you love to dance? Then, get ready to boogie down alone, no need for a partner. Put on your party clothes, turn on the music, and dance the night away to your heart’s delight.

Do Something Nice for Someone: What better way to celebrate love than to show love to others? There are plenty of ways to spread love on Valentine's Day. You could cook a romantic dinner for your parents or surprise your friends and/or family with gifts. You could also send cards or roses to your neighbors. They may also be lonely, and this will go a long way to make them happy. You do not have to be at the receiving end all the time. Seeing someone smile because of your kind deeds will make you happy.

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