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The Beauty of Rejections - Opinion Piece

Jun 24, 2021 11:00AM ● By Anand Subramanian

We expect to be accepted entirely for who we are in every part of our lives, regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation. In a perfect world, everyone will be accepted, but unfortunately, we live in an asymmetrical reality. Our desire for acceptance derives from our want to thrive, according to the Association for Psychological Science. Rejection affects all elements of life, whether it's chatting with someone beautiful, asking for a job, or presenting an idea. Every major life decision comes with the potential of rejection, and we tend to take rejection personally. Dealing with rejection in an unhealthy way can lead to a variety of unpleasant conditions, including despair, anxiety, abuse, and trauma.

Figure 1 - Rejections in career. Source - Pexel

The first step is to comprehend why rejection is so hurtful. It's not because we're fragile or vulnerable, but because we crave connection, which dates back to our ancestors when survival depended on being in groups. Individuals began to adopt new behaviors to avoid being rejected by the tribe. Our urge for connection is hardwired into us from birth, which is why we feel valuable when we build a strong and safe bond with our caretakers, but an insecure bond can lead to feelings of inadequacy.

According to polls, one-third of African Americans have been turned down for jobs, credit applications, home searches, and other frequent social situations. The incidence of rejection did not decrease as people moved up the social ladder. According to research, both implicit and explicit types of racial rejection can have negative psychological and physiological consequences. In the grand scheme of things, these rejections have resulted in a wealth and employment disparity between African Americans and Whites. Black individuals are more sensitive to rejection than White people in other aspects  of life, and they anticipate being rejected in social circumstances. This leads to a heightened behavioral response as well as a sense of mistrust.

Figure 2 - The resultant of rejection. Source - Pexel

We must accept our feelings in their purest form in the face of such a barrage of rejections. Rejection triggers anger and hurt, and while releasing those emotions may seem like the best option, it amplifies those emotions. Self-care is recommended, as is participating in activities such as exercising, yoga, and meditation, which will help with the flow of ideas and answers. If such things don't appeal to you, try something else that will help you relax. It's crucial to pay attention to our feelings by writing them down once the mind has calmed. There is no such thing as a good or bad feeling, and it is critical to recognize them at their source.

There is a ray of optimistic thought beyond recognition, and it is critical to write the good things about yourself and give ourselves affirmation every morning. The most essential thing to remember is that life is about more than rejections, and we should be grateful for the individuals that support us. We frequently forget about those ties, therefore it's critical to spend more time with our friends and community for moral support.

Figure 3 - Working on ourselves. Source - Pexel

As the number of rejections grows, we typically blame ourselves, leading to synthetic and detrimental notions about our own identity. In such scenarios, look at the entire situation objectively and educate yourself, while also practicing compassion towards yourself. It is critical to keep moving forward and to accept the reality that rejection is an unavoidable part of life. With each rejection, we must pick ourselves up and keep pushing on because, at the end of your voyage, you will discover that each rejection has made you stronger, allowing you to overcome any complex obstacle that the universe has thrown in your path.

 Anand Subramanian is a freelance photographer and content writer based out of Tamil Nadu, India. Having a background in Engineering always made him curious about life on the other side of the spectrum. He leapt forward towards the Photography life and never looked back. Specializing in Documentary and  Portrait photography gave him an up-close and personal view into the complexities of human beings and those experiences helped him branch out from visual to words. Today he is mentoring passionate photographers and writing about the different dimensions of the art world.

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